[ She does know. But she also knows how quickly people leave here, and how sometimes they come back without any memory of having come here before. There didn't see any rhyme or reason to it, and while she knew that going home wouldn't mean going back to Jakku, it would mean the end of the relatively comfortable life they'd been leading here in the middle of someone else's war. ]
I just worry, sometimes, that I'm going to become accustomed to wanting things I can't keep.
[He understands what she means. Even now, he might choose to stay here with her, rather than go back to the frustrations of the life he'd been pulled from. But they've already seen things that prove it isn't as simple as making a choice. And ultimately, both of them do have reasons not to leave forever
When we do go home, I wonder if we'll even remember any of this.
I wasn't just talking about muffins. You couldn't have known what it would mean to me.
[ Most people didn't find themselves suddenly on the verge of tears because they'd been given a muffin by someone they have feelings for. It's nothing she expected him to know; she just wants him to understand why her reactions are like this sometimes. Why she seems pulled in two directions at once even now. ]
I want to remember. And I don't want to leave yet. I know I should, but -- if this is all we have, I want more of it.
[ It sounds selfish to her ears, but she can't quite want to take it back. ]
[She's right, he had no idea what it would mean to her. And it's a relief to hear her speak that same selfish sentiment aloud.]
Me too.
[He has no particular attachment to this place itself, no particular stake in the fight against the Sylphid. But having the barriers to any relationship with Rey so far removed, and being able to spend time with the grandfather he previously could only imagine... those are things he won't give up easily.]
[ It's hard to keep fighting a war in which winning means going home. Maybe they wouldn't have to necessarily, but she couldn't abandon everyone back home. Could she? Without either one of them, Palpatine would remain a threat even if the First Order fell apart. And if they don't remember -- ]
You have to make me remember. If I leave and forget.
[ It's sudden and insistent, a contrast to her more subdued tone of the moments before. She can't go back to being his enemy after all of this. If one of them remembers, the other can show them. ]
[He nods. He'd had the same thought, about if somehow only one of them remembers.]
You, too. If I forget... You know how to find me.
[It would be easier if it happened that way, in many respects. She's the one who'd been so insistent on blocking him out, and with the Resistance that had been doing a good job of staying hidden. But he will find her if it falls to him to do so.]
[ She's already drawn that same conclusion, that it would be easier if she remembered. If she forgot -she was as likely as not to draw a lightsaber on him again. She's quiet as she ponders the problem while finishing the last of her muffin. She can't tell him where the rest of the Resistance is hiding; even trusting him as much as she's come to, she can't risk him simply showing up. It was too dangerous for everyone involved, especially if she never made it back. ]
We were looking for the way to Exegol. Pasaana was our first stop; from there I can't say, but you can figure it out. Get ahead of me. Don't let me do anything stupid.
[ Like steal your ship and set it on fire and then head straight to Exegol by herself. ]
[He takes a moment to commit that to memory, as fully as he can, some part of him desperately hoping that if he recalls nothing else upon returning, he will somehow know that. He meets her gaze, then.]
I was already looking for you, before we were here.
Is that why it was getting harder to block you out?
[ It's said with almost a touch of relief. She'd been worried that whatever turned her dreams toward the Dark was starting to affect her waking hours too. ]
I thought I was slipping. I kept catching glimpses of you.
[ When her mind wandered anywhere near him, or when she got too tired to keep her guard up...which became more often the harder she trained. ]
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chiming
no subject
Date: 2022-12-16 09:04 pm (UTC)From:[ She does know. But she also knows how quickly people leave here, and how sometimes they come back without any memory of having come here before. There didn't see any rhyme or reason to it, and while she knew that going home wouldn't mean going back to Jakku, it would mean the end of the relatively comfortable life they'd been leading here in the middle of someone else's war. ]
I just worry, sometimes, that I'm going to become accustomed to wanting things I can't keep.
[ It's not about the muffin. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-19 05:48 am (UTC)From:[He understands what she means. Even now, he might choose to stay here with her, rather than go back to the frustrations of the life he'd been pulled from. But they've already seen things that prove it isn't as simple as making a choice. And ultimately, both of them do have reasons not to leave forever
When we do go home, I wonder if we'll even remember any of this.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-19 06:04 am (UTC)From:[ Most people didn't find themselves suddenly on the verge of tears because they'd been given a muffin by someone they have feelings for. It's nothing she expected him to know; she just wants him to understand why her reactions are like this sometimes. Why she seems pulled in two directions at once even now. ]
I want to remember. And I don't want to leave yet. I know I should, but -- if this is all we have, I want more of it.
[ It sounds selfish to her ears, but she can't quite want to take it back. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-19 06:13 am (UTC)From:Me too.
[He has no particular attachment to this place itself, no particular stake in the fight against the Sylphid. But having the barriers to any relationship with Rey so far removed, and being able to spend time with the grandfather he previously could only imagine... those are things he won't give up easily.]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-19 07:25 pm (UTC)From:You have to make me remember. If I leave and forget.
[ It's sudden and insistent, a contrast to her more subdued tone of the moments before. She can't go back to being his enemy after all of this. If one of them remembers, the other can show them. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-19 07:34 pm (UTC)From:You, too. If I forget... You know how to find me.
[It would be easier if it happened that way, in many respects. She's the one who'd been so insistent on blocking him out, and with the Resistance that had been doing a good job of staying hidden. But he will find her if it falls to him to do so.]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-19 11:10 pm (UTC)From:We were looking for the way to Exegol. Pasaana was our first stop; from there I can't say, but you can figure it out. Get ahead of me. Don't let me do anything stupid.
[ Like steal your ship and set it on fire and then head straight to Exegol by herself. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-01-06 07:00 am (UTC)From:[He takes a moment to commit that to memory, as fully as he can, some part of him desperately hoping that if he recalls nothing else upon returning, he will somehow know that. He meets her gaze, then.]
I was already looking for you, before we were here.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-06 12:33 pm (UTC)From:[ It's said with almost a touch of relief. She'd been worried that whatever turned her dreams toward the Dark was starting to affect her waking hours too. ]
I thought I was slipping. I kept catching glimpses of you.
[ When her mind wandered anywhere near him, or when she got too tired to keep her guard up...which became more often the harder she trained. ]